"Staying Power"

Staying Power

"It is much easier to become a father than to be one."

~Kent Nerburn

The quote from above is probably one of the greatest downfalls of fatherhood in our society today. Many men have no trouble sowing their seed but few men actually stay to grow the crop, harvest the crop, and take joy in the crop. Imagine with me for a moment that a farmer goes out early in the Spring and plants his seed but does nothing more. There is a small chance that the seed will come up but without attention it will struggle to grow. Think of the crops that do grow, those that do grow will not be as strong. Then imagine the rare few crops that actually make it to harvest but sadly there is no farmer their to harvest the crop, so the crop goes to waste all because a farmer chooses not to do his task. To many of us this would be insulting and seem like stupidity at its greatest, but it happens more often then what we would like to think! Let me suggest that you check out a secular site to see the statistics about single parent homes, http://www.singleparentsuccess.org/stats.html. This site clearly teaches us that somewhere around 1/3 of children born into our country today are born into a single parent family unit. Nearly all of these children have mom, but don't have dad. Dad simply want to have fun but didn't want to take responsibility for his actions. Sadly a lot of men view themselves as "men", you know the tough and rugged type (or in our society the gangster type who attempt to bring fear through rap music and baggy pants, and by the way, this is not a statement of racism because this gangster style life transcends racial lines). These men view themselves as "real men" but real men do not sow their seeds and leave the fields, but instead a real man gets real! A man that forms a child gets real and gets down to taking the responsibility of being a father. Being a father does start at conception, basically the easy part. But being a father is a lot more then just sharing a bed with someone and creating life. Being a father is standing by the babies mother, it is making the relationship right in the eyes of God, it is raising your child through more then just child support and occasional weekend visit. Being a dad is a twenty four hour job, seven days a week. Fatherhood does not come with "vacation days" nor does it come with "sick days." Fatherhood is one of the glorious journeys of life that will will require your time, your commitment, your money, your love, your prayers, your faith in God, and your endurance. Our young people today are growing up in a society unlike any other society in history, single parent homes are struggling. I cheer on single parents that are honestly trying to make ends meet, but I boo those in whom refuse to stand in the picture. I boo you because you are not a real man. Instead you are a weak, selfish, cold hearted individual. I you were a man you would be with your baby and pour out your life into theirs.....making an investment that will reap the greatest of benefits! These young children are growing up in single parent homes (typically devoid of dad) and they see no role models, no one to emulate. Young boys grow up emulating rap stars, movie stars, sports stars, etc. These poor role models become somewhat like a father to them and are the only example of manhood. Most of these poor role models came from single parent homes and never learned what it meant to be a man. Young ladies crave the attention of a father, this is proven. If a young lady does not find out what real love is from her father then she will look for a pseudo love from any man willing to throw her a little bit of attention. Thus the seemingly unbreakable chain of single parent families continue. Teen girl looks for love, finds not love but instead attention and lust, gets pregnant, man is a coward and flees the scene, she is left cowering in fear and chooses to either abort the baby or praise God to bring the baby into this world. But once again she has not learned what love or what a real man truly is! Most people love the thrill of sex (yes I said the "s" word) but even greater then the thrill of sex is the thrill of raising a child before your very eyes! Let us not be fathers just by procreating, but instead let us be fathers by raising our children the right way. Fatherhood isn't the act of making a baby, but instead it is the act of training up a child in the way they should go.

To the young lady reading this who finds yourself left stranded by a coward known as a man, know that I am praying for you. Remember that the Scriptures teach that the Father God desires to be the Father to the Fatherless. Know that God loves you and forgives you. His love and forgiveness was evident by sending His only begotten Son to die on the Cross for our sins. Was your act a sin? Yes. But does God still love you? YES! Why not call upon Him today to save you from your sins? To the father reading this who refuses to take responsibility for your baby, let me first of all tell you that you should hang your head in shame. You might say "man you don't know the circumstances." Your right, I don't know the circumstances, but I don't really need too. If you were a real man then you were raise up your baby the right way. Let me say this to you oh coward father, God loves you too and wants you to go to heaven to be with Him forever too. You know in the depth of your heart that what your doing is wrong, that is called sin. Why not admit your sin before God and believe in the work of Christ on the Cross and confess Him as your Savior? Once you do that then pray that God would teach you to be a father like He is a Father unto us. Look unto His example and way. Get into the Word of God (John and Proverbs are excellent chapters to teach you on how to grow as a Christian and a father) and most of all get into a GOOD BIBLE believing Church. Don't just be a sideline dad, don't just be a weekend warrior if you can avoid it (realizing that divorce does cause situations where custody only come on the weekends), but instead get involved. Do homework with them, throw a baseball, go on a walk, color with crayons, read the Scriptures to them, teach them to pray, and show them Jesus clearly! If you need any help on the journey feel free to message me at pastorrobinson@blackrockbible.com, or look me up on facebook. I would love to encourage you along the journey of fatherhood.

~ First time dad

First Week as a Dad

      I want you to go back in time and remember when you started a new job.  Starting a new job is usually a very difficult time, it causes you to spend a lot of time learning a lot of new information.  For one job I had to learn how to run a cash register, run a meat slicer, makes hoagies.  Another job I had to learn how to fit people for snow boats and skis.  Yet another job I had to learn how to mow the lawn and order supplies.  As a pastor I can honestly say that I am learning new things each and every day (there typically isn't a very large learning curve as a pastor).  Those first weeks of the job are usually the weeks that make us or break it, it determines what kind of worker we will become.  Some people face these new responsibilities by quitting and trying to find something easier, others will embrace the job and work their best to be their best.  Now let me compare this to the first week of fatherhood.  Fatherhood is the greatest job in the entire world, and this is only speaking from one week of experience.  It brings me the greatest joy, BUT it also offers the greatest of stresses at times.  I'm sure any first time parent will tell you that there are things that they expected to happen, but even when they did happen you weren't "expecting it."  In regards to the subject of being a "first time dad" I can say that I am very wet behind the ears.  I say this because I am not familiar with new borns at all.  I don't think I ever held a new born longer then five minutes before passing them off.  As a man I wasn't "sexist" about holding a baby, I felt it was just as much of a man's job as a woman's, but I was always worried about hurting the little baby.  Other things that caused me to be a novice was things like diaper changes, feeding, preparing the food, late night screaming, fussiness, dressing a baby, and overall everything that comes along with parenting.  None of these things were familiar to me, they all seemed like some sort of master's course in which I found myself behind and failing in the first week.  At times I felt overwhelmed.  His first night home was the most overwhelming because he had to learn a new bottle, which didn't go well at all.  It lead me to be frustrated....not frustrated with him but instead frustrated with myself for not knowing what to do.  I realize that there are times when a child will be frustrating, but just because a child is frustrating doesn't make them a FRUSTRATION!  I was left to near tears and prayed "God, help my little boy learn to use this new bottle."  The very next bottle went down without any trouble, he mastered it like the little champ that he is!  Diaper changes are something that daddy doesn't do well at yet either.  I am thankful there is a huge learning curve with this and thankful for a wife who does a masterful job at changing Noah.  Daddy tries but fails.  My wife can change the diaper in forty five seconds flat, I'm finally under twenty minutes!  Imagine a Nascar pit crew that has no idea where to put the fuel or how to change tires.  You know it's going to be a long day.  All of these tasks were not thrown upon me though, but instead they were given to me as tasks from God.  God found me responsible to teach my little boy and to love him.  God knew that there was no way that this first time dad would learn everything the first week, nor has any first time dad mastered his task by the end of the first week.  I think of future tasks and how they "evolve" over the course of years.  Soon diapers will turn into learning how to use the potty, using the potty will turn into learning to throw a baseball, throwing a baseball will turn into math homework, math homework will turn into "THE TALK", and so on and so forth.  I thought that the first week of being "first time daddy" would be the hardest task ever, but as a look into the future I see the task changing dramatically, but it never becomes any easier.  Yes, within a month diapers will be mastered, bottles will be completed, and sleep will return, but there is so much more then those simple tasks.  Soon he will need daddy's wisdom, soon he will need to find direction to God, soon he will be looking for a mate, and education.  But let me share with you something, there is nothing more rewarding then rearing a child, nothing more valuable then training them in the way in which they are to live and go.

      After working a full week at a first time job you will receive a paycheck, a reward for all that you learned.  What was my paycheck at the end of the first week of being a dad?  It was worth more then any earthly check could print!  Money holds no value to what I learned.  Probably the greatest "pay" to me was seeing the might and awesomeness of a Creator God who is perfect in all ways.  I might not receive a physical pay check, but beloved I receive something greater.  I receive the satisfaction that God has entrusted to me my little bundle of joy to raise in the right way.  I receive joy in the fact that he loves me and his mother.  I receive pride when other people look at him and comment on his pictures.  Yes, a first time dad will not cause me to obtain a great retirement fund, nor a 401k, but instead it does bring eternal rewards.  At the end of a first week of fatherhood I can say I have no regrets, and I wouldn't trade it for the world.  How would I grade my first week as a first time dad?  I would give myself an "I."  What does "I" stand for you might ask?  It stands for incomplete, meaning that my task isn't done yet!  Yet  I could never imagine quitting on this life-long job/journey.  Instead I look forward to finishing the race as a father (the race finishes at death, for a child needs you not just in childhood, but clean into adulthood).  I look at my child each day and thank God for His abundant blessings and His constant faithfulness.  I pray that I will continue to be steadfast for my son, and for the rest of you first time dads or last time dads let us join together in praying for our children no matter how old.  Let us love them like Christ would love them, and let us adventure together in this great realm known as fatherhood! 

Our baby boy Noah after bathtime :)

The Nursery Journey

  

   Tonight I'm sitting here pondering all the thoughts that all first time dads must think.  I like to use that term "first time dad" because I'm proud to be an upcoming father, but there is something scary about being the "first timer."  There is much to learn and much to do, but in the end it is all worth the while.  I think of the many women in the world who are first time mothers and sadly do not have a man to stand with them.  It breaks my heart for many different reasons.  It breaks my heart because of the child, the woman, but most of all it breaks my heart to see a man not own up to his responsibility to take care of his child.  So often we treat sex as if it is something casual and caviler, something cheap and disposable.  We throw our bodies around to whoever may come and we do not ever think about the repercussions.  Now I am far from an angel in this life, I am a sinner at heart and I sin daily, but I am thankful to be married to a great woman and able to stand with her during this toilsome time.  I look at her belly grow and I think of the great gift that is coming in the next few weeks. 

      Time is passing quickly, I honestly think it's passing quicker for me instead of for my wife.  I enjoy watching the nursery come together, I enjoy seeing diapers and toys in the house, I enjoy putting his stroller and other things together, but most of all I enjoy the thought of his arrival.  The day in which the nursery is not just a room that is decorated a room that will be filled with a little human life, a room that will hold a future for someone that means the world to me.  It makes me think of the "Nursery Journey" in which he will endeavor.  I wonder what will happen within those four walls.  I already think of his little voice screaming out in the night, screaming to be fed, yelling to be changed, or just fussy because he's lonely and scared.  I think further when he will be able to stand and walk in his room.  I look at his blue toy bucket and think of him rummaging through it looking for the perfect day to start the day.  I think even further then he sits in his room doing homework and asking dear old dad questions about math and me not having the answer!  I think even further ahead to the dreaded teen age years.  The years in which the animals and cute little car posters come down off the wall and up goes sport cars and professional football teams.  I think further ahead into the future and we have a serious chat over why there will never be a girl allowed in his bedroom.  I then dive even deeper into the day in which cardboard boxes will fill his room.  Some boxes will be labeled storage, others "junk", and yet other boxes labeled college.  You might think how strange it is for me to think that far ahead of his little room, but I find a joy in that thought.  I find a joy because it is a great reminder to me that soon and very soon he will be out of my house blazing a pathway of his own.  Soon he will go out and carry his own name and go his own "thing."  I just pray that for the few short years in which my wife and I have him that we will be able to impact him for Jesus Christ.  We already pray nightly that God would reach down into his little life and teach him about the great love to Jesus.  We are already telling him Bible stories and praying over him.  We want him to be trained in that way of the Lord.  I pray for myself as a first time dad that I will be able to do one thing right, teach him that God's way is always best and that God loves him so much.  I might not be able to teach him to hunt or fish, I might not be able to teach him how to be a carpenter....that's what pappies are for :)  I pray though more then anything else that when my son sees me that he will see a man living for Christ daily.  I want him to see a man that he wants to emulate, instead of be humiliated over.  If I can do that then I think I can say that I passed the journey of being a dad!  If I am able to teach him about Jesus then my heart will be a little bit calmer when I see those boxes labeled college in his nursery....opps, sorry son.  I didn't mean to call it your nursery any longer, I mean your bedroom.  When I enter his bedroom and see college boxes and see my son, I want to see not just Him, but I want to see Jesus in his heart.  To you dads that were able to teach your children about Jesus and teach them about the Bible, you guys are the heroes in our world.  To you dads that didnt' teach Jesus to your kids or take them to Church, it's not too late.  Why not trust in Jesus now?  Or if you already have trusted in Jesus why not tell your children and grand children about Christ!  There is nothing greater that you can do as a dad then to tell your child these simple words "JESUS SAVES."

A Nervous Christmas Father

      We enter this holy season dwelling on the birth of the great King, Jesus Christ.  We often reflect on the passages but rarely do we add life unto them.  We overlook the fact that the experiences of Mary and Joseph, we forget that these two people were about to be first time parents and go through things that might be a little strange and unusual to them.  As a first time dad I can appreciate the nervousness that probably ran through their minds, especially that of Joseph.  Think of Joseph as he packed the mule/camel to travel from the Galilee to Bethlehem.  Imagine the thoughts that raced through that man's mind.  The most overwhelming thought was the fact that his soon to be wife (in the eyes of the Jewish law they were already married) was carrying the Christ Child, the promised seed of God.  I don't think this was something that was ever easy for Joseph, not difficult in the sense that it was hard to believe, but the amazement probably never faded away.  Looking at Mary's stomach grow probably sent the most exhilarating thoughts through his mind, wandering what the baby was doing, asking the questions like all first time dads do "Is he ok?", or "Is he moving?" or "Can I feel him?"  In an era that kept the sex of the baby a mystery Joseph could smile, for he knew not only the babies sex, but His name and His mission as well.  I think another thought that ran through Joseph's mind was the condition and well fair of his wife.  He worried about her and I imagine he worried greatly about the long journey near Jerusalem.  He probably would have wanted to delay the trip, but a delay was not an option for the family tax must be paid.  The thought probably crossed his mind that this would be the place where Jesus would be born, for Micah the Old Testament prophet foretold of it long ago.  Yet nerves are nerves and Joseph was a first time dad and would naturally worry about his wife.  Probably the most frustrating thing as I look at my wife here in the third tri-mester is the fact that there is little I can do to help her condition.  Her body begins to hurt more and more and minor aches and pains begin to take their toll and I'm powerless, there is nothing I can do and to a man this is frustrating.  A good man is always the knight in shining armor but right now I feel like a spectator in the stands, do you think that Joseph felt the same way?

      Probably the question that ran through Joseph's mind the most is the one that runs through my mind as each day draws closer to Noah's arrival......what in the world do I do?  Joseph was probably a rugged man, a carpenter does not have time to sit and have tea.  His hands were probably rough and his experience with children, let alone infants, was probably none (with the possible exception of sisters).  This was his first child, and if Joseph was anything like how I am now then he was probably a nervous wreck at times.  I have never held a baby, changed a diaper, bathed a baby, fed a baby, etc.  The only experience I have with new borns is staring at them and thinking "how cute."  I'm going to almost bet that Joseph was in a similar condition.  He probably had no idea where to put his hands under Jesus' body, he probably had no idea how to change his cloth diaper, and I highly doubt he had ever bathed an infant.  Most expecting mothers I know seem to already know what to do in these areas, kind of like a sixth sense that was given to all women at birth, but us men worry about these things (at least I hope I'm not the only one).  We worry about these little minor things, we say things like "what if I break him?" or "how does this go?" or "how does such a small little child make such a huge mess?"  We first time dads are a little out of touch with reality, no matter how many books we read or videos we watch.  We have no idea what it feels like to have warm spit up run down our second dress shirt of the morning, we have no idea what 3:37 A.M. is like when the baby is screaming for a reason we have yet to figure out, and finally we have no idea why God would find us worthy of being called the most honorable term in the world......dad.  I have been called many things in life, but the one name that I have always dreamed of hearing is that little three letter word...."dad."  You can't tell me that Joseph wouldn't have been excited about this too, you can't tell me that he didn't desire to teach his boy the finer things of life, the things such as carpenter or how to play a game (I would say baseball but baseball was non-existent).

      Imagine Joseph that night, frantically knocking door to door trying to find a room for his wife to have the child, but with each door came a negative reply, and with each negative reply came a sense of hopelessness.  The small burst of hope came when a stable was provided for the birth of the baby, but a stable was far from what Joseph had probably planned, and a manger was probably the last thing that Joseph thought would be the resting place of his new born baby, but alas that was where it was all destined to take place.  The greatest king would be born in the most humble estate, the richest of kings would have the poorest of births.  I try to picture Joseph that night sitting beside Mary.  There was not medical staff around them, no trained doctor or nurses, no medication in which to give.  You can almost hear Joseph encouraging and coaching his love to keep trying and pushing, you can almost hear him saying "good job honey" and I tend to think that maybe he even whispered and sang into her ear.  Finally the moment came when the baby arrived, taking first first breaths of air and entering the world with a scream (I'm doubtful it was a silent night :).  Imagine again with me the thought that raced through Joseph's mind as the baby sat in his hands.  Like all men we tend to examine our baby closely, we look at the features such as a nose, lips, ears, we double and triple check to see if they have ten fingers and toes.  In Joseph's arms was the greatest gift he was ever given, and unlike any other man in the history of the world, he wasn't the one who created this child, no human hand created this child, for it was the almighty work of God. 

      Most of us men look at our newborn child and we already begin to imagine their future, we picture their career and their college life, who they are going to marry and what kind of adult they will be.  We might see a president in the eyes of our child, a preacher, a teacher, or maybe even a doctor.  We see a smart and bold child, a loving and warm child.  We already begin to wander what they will be before they can even use the bathroom on their own or button their own clothes.  But to Joseph and Mary there was no mystery as to what the future would hold for the Christ child, the baby in which they held was sent on a divine mission and they both knew it.  Joseph was given a message from the angel in Matthew chapter one that Jesus would save His people from their sins.  Joseph knew what that meant, he knew that there was no salvation outside of the shedding of blood, there was no denying that.  Joseph already embraced the reality that this little boy would grow up one day and die for the sins of the world.  I doubt Joseph understood how it would happen, nor could he fathom how horrible the death might have been, but nonetheless Joseph knew in his heart what the future held.  Thirty three years later this baby known as Jesus would grow into adulthood, He would be marched forward onto a hill called Calvary, and there He would give His life for our sins.  Why?  Because He so loved the world, that means you and me.  This season we celebrate His birth, but a birth without a death means we are still lost in our sin.  Maybe today you are unsure of your salvation and your home in heaven, if so I encourage you to email me at pastorrobinson@blackrockbible.com and I will be glad to share with you the truth of salvation and heaven.  For those of you who are first time dads or are expecting your first born (just like me) then let me encourage you to bathe yourself in prayer each day.  The journey will not be easy, but it will be a blessed one!  First time dads, we unite under the banner of anxiety as did Joseph that first morning, but praise be to God to aids us and guides us in how to rear our children for His glory.

Merry Christmas and God bless you all